Sandy, one of our great mentors

Day 428 - When one word makes all the difference

Now before I sleep, let me just post this. If ever, I, and any one of you will take this seriously, it is life changing.

Saying I WANT to get something, is like dreaming that you want to get something.
Saying I CHOOSE to get something is deciding to get something, and killing all alternatives.
Saying I COMMIT to get something means you will do whatever it takes to get it. It's like saying you are going to get it, or you will die trying.




When one word makes all the difference.

Day 424 - Its what they call "Growing Up"

It's funny that sometimes other people see you better than you see yourself. It's even funnier when some people think that they have figured you all out when they don't even know the first thing about you. At the end of the day, these words will only matter if you let them to. You determine your place in the world, consciously and subconsciously. Sometimes, the big questions are there not be answered. That life, however overwhelming it could be, is only about simple questions. There are times you want to run, but deep inside you know you were not born for cowardice but for abundance. You just have to let go of the comfortable things and face what you are afraid of. And there are times that you really have to accept things for what they were, cut the drama, and move on.

Yes. It is what they call growing up. And when it calls for you, you know that you just have to give in.

Day 412 - The End of Summer

Hey there everyone. I know this might come as a shock to some of my readers out there, but it was a while and things really have changed. Oh well, it's the only thing permanent in the world. You might find me a bit different with who I was or the way I write before, but this is me now. Read this if you want to.



So, it's been a couple of months. Let's just say I played with fire and ended up in whirlwind relationship, which is really not a relationship. With the benefits of lust and passion, somewhere in between, feelings just can't be controlled, and you fall in love. Falling in love is a choice really. You get the attraction, then you decide if you are going to embrace it. It's when the obsession and need enters your veins and flows to your heart that you actually consider,crap, I am in love. At the end of the day, you know it is not possible, or should I say, not for you. In the end, whether consciously or subconsciously, you know that you deserve much better, a real love.



Sometimes I wonder if I really attracted all these heartaches, the ancient ones and my today. But does it matter really? You really have to make the decision. To not like and have a relationship with the wrong sort, to delay gratification, abstain and patiently wait for what's coming. It's all about discipline. I find that in a lot of areas in my life right now, I am not letting myself control my circumstances. And the choice should only be done once, and with integrity. It's like marriage. Right. I should make the decision to marry integrity and discipline starting this very minute. I have a business, and it's what I am supposed to concentrate on right now. Work now and play later. To work when it's time to work and to play when it's the time to play.


Providence moves once you make that one commitment.
So here I am, I'm going to state what I want.


I want a serious income. P100,000 every month before the year ends.
I want a real relationship, not sure when. I guess I don't want to rush to anything while I'm not sure about it.
I want a life. A happy life.





So to everyone, you might be turning on a new leaf or just continuing your endeavors at the moment. To us, cheers!





We get what we want. He answers, all the time.



My summer has ended. Welcome new day.

Day 185 - Memories of Love

Hi guys! It's been a while since I last posted anything here. But I have been reading your notes, don't you worry. Thank you for the support. I actually have been thinking of topics that I might write about to drive more traffic to the site so I can reach out to more people. Well, I'll have that in the parking lot for now and I'll go ahead and tell you what have made me post something at 4:52 in the morning. Here goes.



I assume all of us have friends. I am not pertaining to just acquaintances. I am pertaining to long time friends, friends you grew up with and friends that you actually knew very well. Well, in my world, I have those people. I am lucky enough to have maintained a small circle of friends since I was 12, and still have them around me until now. It's been 10 years and we're still counting. Only a few of us are still in school, most have graduated and are taking their journey to their chosen careers. Still we manage to stay in touch and celebrate special events together.



So when you have been friends with certain people for a very long time, attraction is inevitable I guess. Especially if these people enjoy the same things as you do and know you more than most people do. I have a fair share of these attractions. But being the weird me, I don't take such feelings to the next level. Men in the closest to me are always branded as my "buddies", "brothers", "best friends" and with those branding, the comforting idea that I will always have them. No complications. No break ups.



Right at this moment though, I want to tell you one of my closest friends that I have been thinking about. So this guy never had a girlfriend ever. He's 22, now to start a good career as a certified public accountant and a good person. Well he usually teases all his friends, but that's who he is. The teaser. So we never had anything more than friendship going on between us, but he is special to me, just like all my special friends. I just realized that he trusts me though. Like a lot. He studied at a different city for his licensure examinations, but when he had this very serious problem, he texted me and wants to talk to me. He has always been like that but I never seem to notice. When he was about to have his training, I'm the only one he asked for help, and bought clothes and suits. It has always been that way since early college. When he was alone at school doing some duty, he would text me and treat me lunch just to accompany him. Before I had this boyfriend whom I almost give all my salary to and he was so outraged and was the "only" person who suggested he'd keep my money instead. At the early years of college, I used to teach him and encourage him to sing. He loves musicals,too but is too shy to pursue anything about it. He always teases me though, saying I'm not his type. Maybe he's just comfortable with me. That doesn't mean he likes me,right? There was a time in college when I really liked him but I pushed it out of my mind. I just remembered it now because my girl best friend asked me if I like him. Anyway, enough about him, or about us. For sure these thoughts are out of my mind in a few days. Right now, I will just enjoy being single. Enjoy life!


Till next time!

Day 145 - Decisions I have to make

Wow! 145 days actually mean I have been working on this love project 40% out of a year. What I mean is after 200 and a few more days, it will this project's anniversary. Will that be worth celebrating? I certainly hope it will be. 

Anyway, I'm too far that yet so I shouldn't be thinking much about it. I posted today to share my current dilemma. Here it goes. 

I have the choose among the following (or I could probably plan other ways). This time I'll be phishing for comments. Every comment will certainly be appreciated. (of the highest form,damon?haha)

Small Introduction:

- I still have a year to go for college (BS Business Administration, Major in Accounting). 

- I took the same subjects unfinished for like 3 semesters, 2 consecutive, worked in a call center for a year, went back to school then stopped

- I am currently breaking in the online writing world, my first project, a month-long one, for P1,200.  

- next school's semester will start at early November. 

CHOICES:

1) Continue School - Tuition to be shouldered by my aunt. Allowance? Not sure. Hmm, I don't think I'm thrifty enough to spend only $125 dollars every two months. My back pay (that's more than P10,000 [it should be. I'd burn my previous company to hell if it's any less than that.haha] will not come in the next 2-3 months [like that feels forever] so I need to make sure I have enough money for myself because I don't want to enroll and stop in the middle. 

2) Apply in another call center - This is lowest in my choices. I certainly feel the need to have my own money right now, and is currently reaping the seeds of not planning my resignation very well but I don't want to go to work in a time that I can be at home safely or during days that I could be celebrating holidays with my family. I want the New Year that I spent at work last year to be the lat New Year that I'll be doing at work. 

3) Take a few subjects and have a job - This is hard and I have proven it. I know some people can do it, but I don't think I can. Well at least while I'm refreshing with school again. This could easily be a win-win situation for me and my mom but could also be a lose-lose situation if not done well. It is highest in my choices. 

Considerations: 

- I will certainly continue writing. If I get more online projects, more on topics that interest me, I'm not the best yet but I want to better. Not a lot knows this (I mean, I think no one knows, only the people I grew up with, and with that I mean the children I play with and not my classmates and long time friends) but I started very early in writing. when I was very young, I love writing horror stories, that was first half of elementary years. I usually write morbid horror stories with drastic and bloody endings then I read them aloud (usually to my mom, she can take my weirdness, forced though,hahaha) and laugh so much about it. I don't know why I developed fascination with horror when I was young. I remember watching one horror movie with a girl friend and I was like laughing at the movie house most of the time, while she covered her face, horrified and screaming. (it's funny really. I'm not weird. I think I'm perfectly normal.haha) I want to preserve that part of me. the realization just came to me a few weeks ago, and I'm holding on to it. 

There. I might still come out with other plans and strategies but at the moment, those are my choices. I wish myself good luck. 

Do you have any dilemma's in your life right now? you can comment anonymously. I can listen and give advices. I'm good with that, ironic as it may seem, but it is true. 

Still, I wish us all a positive outlook in life, lots of luck and blessings with our endeavors. 

Day 141 - Catching the Butterfly

Can't help but share this. This is a 20-minute, Kapampangan Indie Film, ETC Best Short Film, 1st Philippine Digital Awards.

BALANGINGI (Nosebleed) is a Kapampangan short film that takes a peek into the life of Xoo, a young Filipino "pilosopo" who is forced to attend a blind date set by his nephew. He attempts to suppress his intellectual side but gives in and shows his true color to his date.

Short Film, Blind Dating and showing who you are. Super Informative and Funny. Really. Watch it. :D I'm sure you'll love it.

(I rarely share such, so I definitely share only the ones that catch my attention.haha!)

are you curious why this post is entitled " Catching the Butterfly"??

here is what I posted in my twitter account: (@rpregunta)

this is something I learn, and repeatedly learn everyday. the excitement of writing is like a flying butterfly. you have to catch it, before it flies away.

Day 134 - Speaking my Mind

Yes. Again, I am writing. Every time I write something for my blog, it ignites something in me. Yes. It is like every person who has his own diary. It's like a book of secrets, a personal world where you pour your heart out and speak your mind freely. I know what you're thinking. That idea comes to my mind every time that I post for my blog, for this blog. See, I'm not like the artists out there. The popular ones, the hot ones. Their blogs are read and reread by so many people. And they swoon on their posts. Out of curiosity, for criticism or may be as avid fans. I'm certainly not one of those. I am with those who openly write their emotions in their blogs, not knowing if anybody cares. (Well that is an exaggeration. Of course, some soul cares.) But here's the catch, we never quit blogging or in a positive context, we stay blogging. And I know one day, my blog will serve it's purpose. Right now, it is my diary. I rarely even talk about events of my every day life here. Most of the time, I talk about my feelings (yeah. I know. It is so girl). But I love. I love every minute of it. And when I look back, I am amazed, definitely proud of myself that I have put my thoughts into words. Not all people can do that. I believe it's a talent.

So what am I writing about today? I'm not sure really. I am supposed to write 10 more articles about fitness and health but here I am, watching the Vampire Diaries or typing my own diary. But this is different. It is very easy. Every time I post, I see a blank window where in I have to type something. Most of the time I have nothing specific to tell. Like what I am obviously doing right now. But in the end, I'll finish a near-to-a-novel post. Very lengthy. I guess every thing is like that. If you are doing something that is from your heart, it will come out naturally.

I know I am not doing enough right now. There is so much more I can push myself to do, but I choose to slack off. Maybe because I'm afraid. Truly I am. Every time that I think of my dream, I feel ecstatic but I let it just stay inside me. One thing I know. I can keep it hidden. But it will always be my heart's desire.

There. Just poured my heart out.

P.S.

Can't wait for the interviews.

Be blessed guys. :)

P.S.S

I forgot to share. I love him. More than a friend, different from a family. I love him. But I don't even think of having a relationship with him. Because what I feel for him is very different and very secure. We don't even have to go to that level. I know he loves me. And it's a love forever. :D