Day 3 - Accept the pain then throw it away

ive' been up, down, tryin' to get the feeling again
all around, tryin' to get the feelin again ...




(deep sigh)



I don't know. Maybe I am subconsciously sad though I'm trying to be happy. (Rachel! how can you be happy when you're listening to Duffy's I'm Scared?) But I would really want to attract positive things to my life. If I need to get over "you" I will, right now. I am supposed to be taking responsibility for finding the love of my life just as Bo Sanchez says on his books. Do we really need to acknowledge that we are hurting before we finally get over something that is making us extremely sad?

Okay, then I'll acknowledge it, so that I can finally throw it away. I'll just be posting my goodbye then in a few lines.


You made me feel love
Felt like I was home
Now all came to nothing
And I want to forget you

Is it easy to leave even our friendship?
You answer me.
Or I would rather not.
Some come and go.
Hope we can get past though this and be friends.


For now, goodbye.





(deep breath)

So now, I will banish every sadness. To be ready for another love, I need to have an open heart. Okay, let's divert this discussion then. I will tell you (yes you, who is reading my blog right now) what type of relationship I want right now.





I want to marry already. I want to finish school, to continue work and to fulfill my dreams in life knowing that I have that one person with me who will support and will be with me all the way. I know I have my family and very large circle of friends, and don't get me wrong. I really am lucky with all the people that I have attracted to my life. All of them have in so many ways brought the best in me. It's just that I know myself best. I grow and achieve best when I'm in love. And I am so past being single. I want to be in love. To be happily married. I don't care if I'm young. Id rather enjoy youth married, going out with friends with my husband, being in a lifetime courtship with him, planning all my life and future with him rather than spending it wondering who I'll spend my lifetime with. I want to start and live my life now with him. I now it's acary and weird for a lot of people. But try to think of it without all your prejudices for a few minutes. Isn't it the happiest feeling?