Day 185 - Memories of Love

Hi guys! It's been a while since I last posted anything here. But I have been reading your notes, don't you worry. Thank you for the support. I actually have been thinking of topics that I might write about to drive more traffic to the site so I can reach out to more people. Well, I'll have that in the parking lot for now and I'll go ahead and tell you what have made me post something at 4:52 in the morning. Here goes.



I assume all of us have friends. I am not pertaining to just acquaintances. I am pertaining to long time friends, friends you grew up with and friends that you actually knew very well. Well, in my world, I have those people. I am lucky enough to have maintained a small circle of friends since I was 12, and still have them around me until now. It's been 10 years and we're still counting. Only a few of us are still in school, most have graduated and are taking their journey to their chosen careers. Still we manage to stay in touch and celebrate special events together.



So when you have been friends with certain people for a very long time, attraction is inevitable I guess. Especially if these people enjoy the same things as you do and know you more than most people do. I have a fair share of these attractions. But being the weird me, I don't take such feelings to the next level. Men in the closest to me are always branded as my "buddies", "brothers", "best friends" and with those branding, the comforting idea that I will always have them. No complications. No break ups.



Right at this moment though, I want to tell you one of my closest friends that I have been thinking about. So this guy never had a girlfriend ever. He's 22, now to start a good career as a certified public accountant and a good person. Well he usually teases all his friends, but that's who he is. The teaser. So we never had anything more than friendship going on between us, but he is special to me, just like all my special friends. I just realized that he trusts me though. Like a lot. He studied at a different city for his licensure examinations, but when he had this very serious problem, he texted me and wants to talk to me. He has always been like that but I never seem to notice. When he was about to have his training, I'm the only one he asked for help, and bought clothes and suits. It has always been that way since early college. When he was alone at school doing some duty, he would text me and treat me lunch just to accompany him. Before I had this boyfriend whom I almost give all my salary to and he was so outraged and was the "only" person who suggested he'd keep my money instead. At the early years of college, I used to teach him and encourage him to sing. He loves musicals,too but is too shy to pursue anything about it. He always teases me though, saying I'm not his type. Maybe he's just comfortable with me. That doesn't mean he likes me,right? There was a time in college when I really liked him but I pushed it out of my mind. I just remembered it now because my girl best friend asked me if I like him. Anyway, enough about him, or about us. For sure these thoughts are out of my mind in a few days. Right now, I will just enjoy being single. Enjoy life!


Till next time!

Day 145 - Decisions I have to make

Wow! 145 days actually mean I have been working on this love project 40% out of a year. What I mean is after 200 and a few more days, it will this project's anniversary. Will that be worth celebrating? I certainly hope it will be. 

Anyway, I'm too far that yet so I shouldn't be thinking much about it. I posted today to share my current dilemma. Here it goes. 

I have the choose among the following (or I could probably plan other ways). This time I'll be phishing for comments. Every comment will certainly be appreciated. (of the highest form,damon?haha)

Small Introduction:

- I still have a year to go for college (BS Business Administration, Major in Accounting). 

- I took the same subjects unfinished for like 3 semesters, 2 consecutive, worked in a call center for a year, went back to school then stopped

- I am currently breaking in the online writing world, my first project, a month-long one, for P1,200.  

- next school's semester will start at early November. 

CHOICES:

1) Continue School - Tuition to be shouldered by my aunt. Allowance? Not sure. Hmm, I don't think I'm thrifty enough to spend only $125 dollars every two months. My back pay (that's more than P10,000 [it should be. I'd burn my previous company to hell if it's any less than that.haha] will not come in the next 2-3 months [like that feels forever] so I need to make sure I have enough money for myself because I don't want to enroll and stop in the middle. 

2) Apply in another call center - This is lowest in my choices. I certainly feel the need to have my own money right now, and is currently reaping the seeds of not planning my resignation very well but I don't want to go to work in a time that I can be at home safely or during days that I could be celebrating holidays with my family. I want the New Year that I spent at work last year to be the lat New Year that I'll be doing at work. 

3) Take a few subjects and have a job - This is hard and I have proven it. I know some people can do it, but I don't think I can. Well at least while I'm refreshing with school again. This could easily be a win-win situation for me and my mom but could also be a lose-lose situation if not done well. It is highest in my choices. 

Considerations: 

- I will certainly continue writing. If I get more online projects, more on topics that interest me, I'm not the best yet but I want to better. Not a lot knows this (I mean, I think no one knows, only the people I grew up with, and with that I mean the children I play with and not my classmates and long time friends) but I started very early in writing. when I was very young, I love writing horror stories, that was first half of elementary years. I usually write morbid horror stories with drastic and bloody endings then I read them aloud (usually to my mom, she can take my weirdness, forced though,hahaha) and laugh so much about it. I don't know why I developed fascination with horror when I was young. I remember watching one horror movie with a girl friend and I was like laughing at the movie house most of the time, while she covered her face, horrified and screaming. (it's funny really. I'm not weird. I think I'm perfectly normal.haha) I want to preserve that part of me. the realization just came to me a few weeks ago, and I'm holding on to it. 

There. I might still come out with other plans and strategies but at the moment, those are my choices. I wish myself good luck. 

Do you have any dilemma's in your life right now? you can comment anonymously. I can listen and give advices. I'm good with that, ironic as it may seem, but it is true. 

Still, I wish us all a positive outlook in life, lots of luck and blessings with our endeavors. 

Day 141 - Catching the Butterfly

Can't help but share this. This is a 20-minute, Kapampangan Indie Film, ETC Best Short Film, 1st Philippine Digital Awards.

BALANGINGI (Nosebleed) is a Kapampangan short film that takes a peek into the life of Xoo, a young Filipino "pilosopo" who is forced to attend a blind date set by his nephew. He attempts to suppress his intellectual side but gives in and shows his true color to his date.

Short Film, Blind Dating and showing who you are. Super Informative and Funny. Really. Watch it. :D I'm sure you'll love it.

(I rarely share such, so I definitely share only the ones that catch my attention.haha!)

are you curious why this post is entitled " Catching the Butterfly"??

here is what I posted in my twitter account: (@rpregunta)

this is something I learn, and repeatedly learn everyday. the excitement of writing is like a flying butterfly. you have to catch it, before it flies away.

Day 134 - Speaking my Mind

Yes. Again, I am writing. Every time I write something for my blog, it ignites something in me. Yes. It is like every person who has his own diary. It's like a book of secrets, a personal world where you pour your heart out and speak your mind freely. I know what you're thinking. That idea comes to my mind every time that I post for my blog, for this blog. See, I'm not like the artists out there. The popular ones, the hot ones. Their blogs are read and reread by so many people. And they swoon on their posts. Out of curiosity, for criticism or may be as avid fans. I'm certainly not one of those. I am with those who openly write their emotions in their blogs, not knowing if anybody cares. (Well that is an exaggeration. Of course, some soul cares.) But here's the catch, we never quit blogging or in a positive context, we stay blogging. And I know one day, my blog will serve it's purpose. Right now, it is my diary. I rarely even talk about events of my every day life here. Most of the time, I talk about my feelings (yeah. I know. It is so girl). But I love. I love every minute of it. And when I look back, I am amazed, definitely proud of myself that I have put my thoughts into words. Not all people can do that. I believe it's a talent.

So what am I writing about today? I'm not sure really. I am supposed to write 10 more articles about fitness and health but here I am, watching the Vampire Diaries or typing my own diary. But this is different. It is very easy. Every time I post, I see a blank window where in I have to type something. Most of the time I have nothing specific to tell. Like what I am obviously doing right now. But in the end, I'll finish a near-to-a-novel post. Very lengthy. I guess every thing is like that. If you are doing something that is from your heart, it will come out naturally.

I know I am not doing enough right now. There is so much more I can push myself to do, but I choose to slack off. Maybe because I'm afraid. Truly I am. Every time that I think of my dream, I feel ecstatic but I let it just stay inside me. One thing I know. I can keep it hidden. But it will always be my heart's desire.

There. Just poured my heart out.

P.S.

Can't wait for the interviews.

Be blessed guys. :)

P.S.S

I forgot to share. I love him. More than a friend, different from a family. I love him. But I don't even think of having a relationship with him. Because what I feel for him is very different and very secure. We don't even have to go to that level. I know he loves me. And it's a love forever. :D

Day 130 - Passion

Hi guys. I'm writing a lot at the moment so to break from the monotony, I just created another video entry for today. Quality is still not that good and I still have my lapses so forgive me. :D

I'll be singing "Mama Who Bore Me" in the video,too. It sucks so I am posting another video of just the song. It's acapella by the way. :)

P.S.

I am so excited for the interviews, so if you want to be featured on my blog, just add a comment with your email address or post it in my chat box. I'll be making the questions soon and I'll find a way to make the interviews interesting.

Thank you guys. Hope to hear from you.

Be blessed and goodluck to all our endeavors.

Carpe Diem!

Day 126 - CHAPTER 3 - Independence

Hi guys. Hope you'll love this post. Sorry for the grammar lapses and pronunciation errors. I promise to be better (and to use a better camera once I buy a new one) next time.

Thank you. So excited for chapter 3..

Be independent and attract real love..

:D

Day 123 - Another love day

It's late and I am blogging. But I don't want to miss this chance to tell you the things that are running on my mind right now.

first one - that someone is courting me. Well, a few hours ago, I decided not to think about this anymore. Want to know why? Secret.haha

second one - an inspiration.

I know I put Jonathan Groff's image for this post. But (okay, I'll just discuss that inspiration that came to my mind).

I was reading a book and is watching the tv at the same time (i love multitasking,haha) when I came across this man on a documentary show. His discussion was about a reserved forest. And I just felt like that kind of man is very attractive. Then these random images came to my mind (sorry. My thoughts are really at random at the moment)

- My love and I in the forest. He is asking me about what do I really want to do in my life. Then I told him "I want to sing". And he gave me that smile that sweeps me off my feet every time, telling me how good my dream is and that it is achievable.

- all the moments I want to share with my love (where are you?haha)

* ruffling his hair. I think I'm always attracted to guys with the just-woke-up hair do because I have a constant longing of always playing with my man's hair. I love doing that. haha

* Sitting in the middle of the forest where he would ask me to marry him. Then I'll say "no". Let's try to be chaste for a year.hahaha weird idea!

* my man simply fetching me from the house whenever we need to go out and accompanying me back home

I wonder. I had all these boyfriends but I never felt the real courtship.

I want to be loved.

Do I want a boyfriend right now? I don't know. I'm not even interested with guys who try to date me but don't seem attractive for me.

Do I just want a man? Maybe. Because I'm constantly longing for some tender but strong arms that could hug me every time I feel weak. Might be God, a father, a brother or a friend.

I don't need a man really to make my life complete and happy right now. But I want a man that will love me and that I will love. Because I can't wait to feel that security. I can't wait to start spending my every day growing with a person that you choose to be your other half, your better half.

Love for me.

Love for the world.

Goodnignt!!

Day 121 - A beginning

Today, there was a proposal. How would it go? Let's see. :)